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He drives me crazy…

And he can’t help himself!

I love my hubby to no end. We fought through seven rough years and have grown steadily the last seven. Fourteen years it’s been and my love for him grows.

With that said, he needs to go back to work!! He has been home since the last Friday of July. First sinuses. Then major back pain. And we will never forget his eight day stint in the hospital from Covid pneumonia. Every day he gets stronger but I still see his struggle. He gets winded if we walk too quickly. Talking and walking steals his breath. I watch carefully when he yawns because his lungs still refuse to stretch fully. And still, he needs to go back to work.

I am a professed creature of habit. I like structure and schedules. And quiet! The school year allows me quiet daytime hours to work, make calls, read, enjoy my own company. Believe me when I say I do not get bored by myself at home. So, to have my husband at home, all day, every day, is a little cramped.

I didn’t realize it until he pointed out that I was cranky. He kept saying he was getting on my nerves. I, of course, immediately denied it because I would never want to hurt his feelings by making him think I didn’t want him around. I mean, a month ago we could have lost him to heavens gates. But when I really stopped and thought about it, he was totally tap dancing on my last nerve!

Lucky for me, he understands me to the core. He wasn’t offended or hurt. He just needed me to admit it to myself. I’m stubborn. It took three days.

I’ve spent so much of my life packing away my own feelings, catering to those around me. My feelings were hardly ever a consideration: even to myself. I’ve had to work diligently on recognizing and understanding my own emotions and not simply brushing them aside. It’s a work in progress.

These last two months have been a series of lessons and growing steps. My patience, something i prided myself on having in spades, was tested, obliterated, and recovered multiple times. My faith in Gods plans for my life and my family grew by leaps and bounds. And while my love for my husband grew exponentially, he still drives me crazy and needs to go back to work!

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