A broken heart 💔
Y’all, my momma heart is aching. Tiny pin-pricks of hurt ribboning through my oversized heart all weekend. When people tell you there’s no heartbreak like the ones your children create, believe it.
My high school senior had homecoming this weekend. After being denied the excitement of high school events for the past three school years, I was giddy with excitement at the prospect of senior events. My momma heart bloomed at the thought of homecoming, senior pictures, graduation meetings and prom! Oh prom!!
Now, while my high schooler has not adopted my keen ability to plan ahead, despite my best efforts, he knows he’s gotta have a plan if he wants to do something. Don’t come to me without a complete plan including how you are getting there and back, who you are going with, and if you need money. The answer will be no. Failure to plan is a plan to fail; and not my fault.
In sidles my high schooler, Thursday night, grinning and calling me his favorite person. He’s as transparent as glass. I know he’s up to something. Laying on the sugar in inch thick layers, he eventually asks for funds to attend the homecoming football festivities. My momma heart skipped happily because he actually wanted to go! Of course I said yes!
Then he hits me in the mom feels and asks if he can go to the homecoming dance. A dance!!!! I had to put on my cool-mom face and tell him he’s gotta talk to dad about that one. Meanwhile, I’m dancing on the inside. I couldn’t wait to tell the hubby we were finally going to get to do high school parent stuff! A dance with dressy clothes and pictures and all the things!!!
This kid waited until two hours before the dance to approach his dad about going to the dance. His plan included skateboarding to a buddies house, picking up his date, having dinner, then going to the dance. Wait! Hold up! Did I miss something here? Where are the obligatory pictures? The gushy mom noises I’m supposed to make? Where is the part where I get to be teary-eyed as I watch him pose with a cute girl then ride off laughing with friends?
I got nothing. No pictures. No gushy mom noises. No teary-eyed send off. I didn’t even get the promised cell phone pic at the friends house. I feel cheated. Disgruntled. But mostly, I’m hurt. All up in my feelings. And my happy reactions at the rolling feed of friends kids all dressed up and off to the dance are colored slightly by my own sadness.
My hubby, man I love tremendously, pointed out the fact his lack of picture hurt my heart. True to form, my kid shrugged and brushed me off. Sigh. Heartbreak stinks when it comes from the humans you grew from scratch. It’ll take a few days but I’ll eventually get over it. For the rest of the year, perhaps I’ll expect disappointment and I won’t be disappointed.
No pictures for mom……