Tonight is a half a glass of wine and Tylenol kind of night.
The grounded teenager was busted today for all sorts of things on his phone. The phone we pay for. Check often and take away when need be. As if the bad grades yesterday weren’t enough?!?
I’m a person who plays their emotions close to the vest. Like so close they are hidden several layers inside the vest. It takes something big to elicit outward displays of emotion. Today, I showed quiet anger.
Anger that my kid, who I trusted, snuck out of the house in the middle of the night several times. Anger that he’s got inappropriate things on his phone that he finds humorous and shares with his friends. Anger that he was caught lying and tried to lie his way out of it. Anger.
I’m not a yeller. Unless football is on TV then all bets are off. My reprimands are delivered in cool tones with a face that shows my feeling behind it. Tonight, my face did the yelling for me. The kid looked scared. Scared that my quiet anger would end up with me leaping from my chair and giving him the Homer Simpson treatment. I didn’t. But my face said I might.
Yet, even in my quiet anger, I let him know what I’d do if anything happened to him or anyone I love. Ask them. They’ll tell you. I would burn this world down for them. The part of me that is Liam Neison in Taken and Jennifer Garner in Peppermint would emerge and I wouldn’t rest until I had answers. Even in my anger, I let him know I loved him enough to burn the world down for him.
I’m not a perfect parent. I ignore my daughters incessant chatter, paying attention to every fourth word sometimes. I forget to pick up milk. I promise to make cookies and then don’t because I’m tired. But……I love my kids. So, now, me and my quiet anger are going to drink my stingy glass of wine, take a Tylenol for my monster headache, hug my kids and go to bed.
Riesling to the rescue
With any luck, tomorrow I’ll be able to work….