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So this is….

39!

Well, I’ve made another trip around the sun! And what a trip it was! This past year had its share of trials and victories, and I’m a year wiser because of them.

I never make a big deal about my birthday. There’s no month long celebration posts all over social media. I don’t insist on shouting from the rooftops I’m a Pisces and it’s my session lol. I don’t even put it on the family calendar. I have a hard time making things about me.

As a recovering people pleaser, it’s difficult to have attention focused on myself. I spent the better part of two decades making sure others shone brightly and had what they needed. Having the light shine on me feels unnatural and wrong at times.

Every text, call, and Facebook post makes me smile like a kid just handed a ten dollar bill in a candy store. That people would take a few seconds from their day to wish me happy birthday makes more than words can say. But, there’s still that small voice that makes me feel unworthy of the attention.

For years, I made myself smaller. I used my talents quietly but always gave credit to others. I didn’t feel like I needed to be seen. Like I needed to be heard. I made my place in the shadows, holding the light to others.

As I creep toward that big milestone birthday, the big 40, I find myself learning daily how to stand in the light with others. It’s one thing to help someone shine. It’s another to shine with them. I read a quote the other day about how lighting another’s candle doesn’t steal light from your own. As I’m still learning how not to automatically people please, that really struck a chord. Maybe, just maybe, I really can shine too.

I have so many dreams for this next year. Some small like shaving thirty seconds off my mile times during my morning runs or finally learning how to apply eye liner. Don’t laugh, it’s a goal🤣 Other dreams are huge like publishing another novel (or two), or speaking to larger crowds about things that I feel deeply about.

It’s taken me a long time to realize that I was meant to shine. That shining is not selfish. Especially if I bring others into the light with me. I guess the real question is, how bright will I let myself shine?!? Here’s to another trip around the sun and prayerfully many more to come.

39 looks good on me😎


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